Behind THOSE Doors…Your Master Bedroom

lovely.

               

     I will never forget the thrills (and anxiety!) I experienced moving into our condo with my newlywed husband. Not to mention, who could forget the giddy feelings of finally getting to share the same room together!  We new brides worry about the craziest things, from hoping that we don’t develop a snoring habit that never existed prior to saying “I do,” to the anxiety of wanting to look off-the-catwalk glamorous when preparing for bed at night. Okay, so maybe I could be the only one who worried about those two… All jokes aside, in the last year and a half of this YoungMarried life I have learned and come to realize that a couple’s personal bedroom is to be a “sanctuary” of sorts, an oasis from the outside world and yes, a private place for the rest. J

     A living room has its purpose as does a dining room, kitchen, play room, and all the other rooms in a house. A couple’s bedroom, however, should be unique to the rest! In my opinion, the routine work and some play done in the rest of your home’s rooms should be kept to a minimum when it comes to bringing it into your bedroom. Well, unless of course you are making your sweetie a yummy breakfast-in-bed! J It seems that we can get so wrapped up in putting emphasis on wanting to make the exterior or our homes and the places that everyone else sees inside look as presentable as possible. Why wouldn’t we put those same efforts into making our personal bedroom presentable, inviting, and desirable for ourselves and our husband? Think on that for a minute…

     I know each couple’s situation is a bit different from living space dilemmas, to weird unique personal habits. We live in a one bedroom condo so I definitely understand the storage space issue. Becoming a hoarder could be a real problem if I didn’t keep myself in check! Nonetheless, I encourage you to make a concentrated effort to keep your work outside the bedroom, TVs in other spaces and phones to a minimum use (or not at all!), and clutter FAR from your secret space. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been a trial and error process figuring out what we want, don’t want, and everything in between for our room but it’s worth taking on the challenge together. Haven’t you seen those home makeover shows that reveal the disastrous master bedroom and it makes you cringe? What does the designer always do- glams it up and makes it “sexier.” Have you asked your honey what he thinks about your room?  My and Derek’s “areas” tend to look different. For example, his Type A personality nightstand is pretty much spotless and only has a framed picture of us set on top.  Well, my side has a stack of books and a few trinkets to add to the… adornment? I’m working on the compromise part to all of this. Don’t get discouraged, or feel the need to run to your nearest Home Depot. Make mini changes a few at a time. It’s a work in progress!

Here are a few things that we have chosen to do to keep our room a place we love to be:

Make the bed in the morning and tidy up- While I didn’t practice this too well when I was single, it became a non-negotiable almost immediately for me in our married life. To see the sheets undone and the pillows hanging off the bed drove me nuts! Guess what- I found out it stressed Derek out too. Just take an extra few minutes before you leave the house to put everything back in place and you’ll come home after work happy that you did! Even if you have to work out a little schedule between the two of you, make it happen. When I worked, Derek would make our bed on the mornings that I left before him, and I would pick up on the days that he left first. Teamwork.

Don’t argue in bed- I can’t stress this one enough! Your bedroom, and bed, can’t be the place to have heated disagreements or to bring resentment and bitterness to. The few times that we did that made coming back to our room later so sad. I am glad that Derek agrees on this one and has suggested more than once, in the event that we’ve started to disagree on something big, “Let’s not talk about this in bed. Let’s take it to the living room.” Your bedroom needs to be a safe place, not one that elicits fear or intimidation. Listen, change your room around if you have to if it helps to squash memories of past hurts and arguments in your special room.  This one is a biggie!

Keep the media “noise” OUT- “To each his own” on this one but in my opinion, I don’t see value in having a TV in our room. Derek loves his sports stations and favorite TV shows which I am perfectly OK with. However, I don’t want any media robbing my spotlight in our room. Understandable, right? Same goes for cellphones. We have set a time where it’s “phones out” policy and it’s helped us stay accountable to each other.  I will say, allow room to have fun though. For example, since this was an Olympic year and the events went on late into the night, we decided to move a smaller TV that we have into our room for the last week of the games. It was a fun change for a bit! After the games were over we took it back out of the room- no complaints from either “team.” Make it work how you see fit, but don’t let it tune out the romance.

Set the mood- Candles, décor, pictures and more… Make your room as inviting as possible for you and your honey. I heard a tip one time that when it comes to pictures in this room, try to keep them to ones of you and your honey. There are enough places elsewhere to put pictures up of family, friends, and your cute nieces/nephews. Think about it: you and your spouse are turning up the romance notch and someone looks over… oh, there’s your sister. Awkward. I do have a few pictures of my family in our room, but they are “out of sight” by my sink area. We can agree on that!

 Talk about it, dream and envision the changes, do research, and little by little get your special room right where you want it to be! To name a few, here are my favorite sites to browse through for ideas: The Nest, HGTV, Pinterest, and Craft Gawker.

Have fun creating the inviting, romantic, desirable bedroom space of your dreams!