One of the biggest monsters to tackle in our personal lives as
women, in my opinion, is the game of comparisons. She is tall, but I look better in heels. She can sing, but I have
better taste in music. My house is small, that means I am more humble than the
rest, and on and on with the comparison justifications. Why is it that men
want to conquer things like financial success and to be respected by their
wives, but we tend to be a bit more complicated in our aspirations? Sometimes
the things that we position ourselves to compare to another woman’s are so
meaningless too! I mean, does it really matter whether you can afford high end
cosmetics over CoverGirl? So what, I like to be an easy, breezy, beautiful, Covergirl! Too often we let insecurities and
negative comments feed our emotions to spiral out of control leading us into a
mess of wanting to be seen as the BEST at more things than we were designed to
do. Insecurity is an issue of the mind and heart, and a matter of not trusting
God’s design in the woman (and wife!) he intends for you to be. If the mom across the street is a master at
cake decorating, I don’t have to become consumed with wanting to learn how to
do it and be better at it. I don’t even
like cake… When the young wife waves as she passes you on an evening run
while pushing twins in her jogger stroller, you don’t have to swear to run
faster than her next time. Do you even
like to run?
Don’t get embarrassed, I’ve been there too. “If she does
that, then I can too and I will do it BETTER!” This isn’t a thought about
healthy competition because I am all game for that. Instead, I want to
acknowledge that, yes, it can be hard to find our identity at times. It seems
to be doubly challenging trying to find it as a wife. But, I want to challenge
you to be active in putting away this game. No one really wants to play, and
most of the time we are the only ones moving pieces on the board in this game
to begin with! We can get so consumed with what others will think of our
marriage on the outside and what people will say about our wifely
qualifications that we waste precious time in living our lives not using the
talents we already have to make a difference and move in God’s unique calling
for us. The comparison game’s messy prize is never won because it’s never
enough. Think about it: do you really feel like you’ve won an accolade for
being “better” in your own comparisons? Get out your scissors and let’s cut a
few things out right now, what do you say?
- I will snip away the comparison that I have to be great at
several things to find value.
By doing this I am taking back a burden(s)
that I have placed on my family, husband, ministry, etc., to keep up with my
desire to ______________, and to be OK with me not being my true self. It was a
burden I wasn’t intended to have or to put on anyone else.
-I will cut away the veil that keeps me from acknowledging
and using the gifts God has already given me.
I will use these gifts to
well-serve those in my life and circle of influence, even if I played the
comparison game with some of the very same people. “God has given each of you a gift from his great
variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” 1 Peter
4:10
-I will begin to clip away at the actions, thoughts,
words, and desires that keep me from blossoming into the wife, mother, friend,
daughter, ministry partner, teacher, employee, that I am created to be.
Confidence
is beautiful… and your husband will find it sexy! ;)
What other
comparisons and insecurities can we work on getting rid of, together?
We can do it, I
believe in you. J
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