Tuesday, January 29, 2013

"Anything you can do, I can do better" Syndrome



One of the biggest monsters to tackle in our personal lives as women, in my opinion, is the game of comparisons. She is tall, but I look better in heels. She can sing, but I have better taste in music. My house is small, that means I am more humble than the rest, and on and on with the comparison justifications. Why is it that men want to conquer things like financial success and to be respected by their wives, but we tend to be a bit more complicated in our aspirations? Sometimes the things that we position ourselves to compare to another woman’s are so meaningless too! I mean, does it really matter whether you can afford high end cosmetics over CoverGirl? So what, I like to be an easy, breezy, beautiful, Covergirl! Too often we let insecurities and negative comments feed our emotions to spiral out of control leading us into a mess of wanting to be seen as the BEST at more things than we were designed to do. Insecurity is an issue of the mind and heart, and a matter of not trusting God’s design in the woman (and wife!) he intends for you to be.  If the mom across the street is a master at cake decorating, I don’t have to become consumed with wanting to learn how to do it and be better at it. I don’t even like cake… When the young wife waves as she passes you on an evening run while pushing twins in her jogger stroller, you don’t have to swear to run faster than her next time. Do you even like to run?

Don’t get embarrassed, I’ve been there too. “If she does that, then I can too and I will do it BETTER!” This isn’t a thought about healthy competition because I am all game for that. Instead, I want to acknowledge that, yes, it can be hard to find our identity at times. It seems to be doubly challenging trying to find it as a wife. But, I want to challenge you to be active in putting away this game. No one really wants to play, and most of the time we are the only ones moving pieces on the board in this game to begin with! We can get so consumed with what others will think of our marriage on the outside and what people will say about our wifely qualifications that we waste precious time in living our lives not using the talents we already have to make a difference and move in God’s unique calling for us. The comparison game’s messy prize is never won because it’s never enough. Think about it: do you really feel like you’ve won an accolade for being “better” in your own comparisons? Get out your scissors and let’s cut a few things out right now, what do you say?

 
- I will snip away the comparison that I have to be great at several things to find value.
By doing this I am taking back a burden(s) that I have placed on my family, husband, ministry, etc., to keep up with my desire to ______________, and to be OK with me not being my true self. It was a burden I wasn’t intended to have or to put on anyone else.

-I will cut away the veil that keeps me from acknowledging and using the gifts God has already given me.
 I will use these gifts to well-serve those in my life and circle of influence, even if I played the comparison game with some of the very same people. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” 1 Peter 4:10

-I will begin to clip away at the actions, thoughts, words, and desires that keep me from blossoming into the wife, mother, friend, daughter, ministry partner, teacher, employee, that I am created to be.
Confidence is beautiful… and your husband will find it sexy! ;)

What other comparisons and insecurities can we work on getting rid of, together?

We can do it, I believe in you. J

No comments:

Post a Comment