A Thoughtful Exercise for Your Spouse from Phil. 4:8

     Earlier this year, I took a suggestion that Holly Furtick posted on her blog that came from the book, What’s it Like to Be Married toMe?, by Linda Dillow. This book challenged me to take my pointed finger off of Derek and turn it right back at myself with tough questions to think about. Some of the questions included, what does it feel like to be my husband? Am I willing to change my attitude? Is it possible to grow together?

     The challenge comes from Philippians 4:8. The idea is to take the key words in the verse and to use them to write something (nice) about your husband. I want to challenge you to try this exercise too, and maybe doodle something cute around the paper and then tuck it away somewhere for your honey to find it later. The verse says:

“And now [wives], dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (NLT)

     We are called to two actions in this passage: to fix our thoughts and to think about these things. Take these 8 key words that I have marked in bold for you and write something next to each one that relates to your husband (or wife.) Has your honey done something that was admirable in the last week? Write it down, and so on! Depending on the  BIble version that you used for the verse, your words may be a little different. So as an example, your “Phil. 4:8 note" will be structured something like this:

Derek,

True- Thanks for sticking to your promise to XYZ this week. You were true to your word!

Honorable-

Right-

Pure-

Lovely-

Admirable-

Excellent-

Worthy of Praise-

I love you!

-G

     You can be as creative as you want to be. The first time I did this I just wrote it out on a legal pad sheet of paper because I wanted to make sure that I wouldn't “find” something else to do in that moment. The purpose of this is to be intentional in thinking about the good things your spouse does and/or say.s Mine looked like this:

     In reality, you could do this every month and the examples following these key words would probably be different each time. With the holidays coming up, why not add a little extra dose of gratitude in your life? Whenever I get to nagging and complaining, recalling this verse and practicing this exercise is something I’ve taken a special liking to. I am amazed at how my intentionality in doing this gives me perspective. Most of the time we are reminded and realize that the number of good "things"  trump what we consider to be "bad."

      Maybe today you are in a mood where just looking at your spouse makes you mad… do this challenge anyways. I read recently that by doing an action, even if you don’t want to, causes the desired feelings to usually follow. In other words, if you can’t think of a single nice thing to write in this exercise try it in spite of your feelings, and after the first few I bet you’ll realize a change of heart and maybe even attitude. Just try.

    Derek is taking me to see Frankenweenie tonight because the little girl in me wants to. I usually don’t go see animated movies at the theatre, so you can bet he doesn’t either. But, he heard me mention it to someone this week and decided to take me after his band rehearsal tonight. How, lovely. :)