Pew Thoughts 8.12.12

Pew Thoughts- 8.12.12

                I wasn’t always a very good listener in church growing up. I’ve been a pastor’s daughter since I took my first breath in the world, but that was in no way a reflection of my dad’s preaching. (He’s amazing!) A lightbulb went off at some point and I realized how much great Word and how many messages I was missing out because of my lack of focus and immaturity. I wanted to make changes in how I approached Sunday mornings, and any other time I had the option to “respond to God’s Word being taught.” I started taking notes, sitting closer to the front, and actively engaging in a service from the start. I realized that I remembered more when I wrote down the message points  and my own thoughts, that I wasn’t consumed with the outfit or hair of whoever sat in front of me, and that I didn’t care what time church got out when I was present with heart, mind, and soul. It made a huge difference! Not to mention, like I heard once in a message by David Platt, that to approach a message as a student who takes notes, listens intently and responds is encouraging to a pastor. I wanted to encourage my dad, which I missed out on doing too much, and now I want to encourage my pastor who also happens to be my father-in-law.

                In as much as I can, I hope to present my “pew thoughts” to you. These Sunday afternoon/evening  posts will be words or notes from my writings during a service, a song that I worshipped to and want to share, or any random thought that comes from my Sunday interactions in, out, and around church.

                My pastor is going through a 17 week series entitled “When in Rome," breaking down the book of Romans little by little to all who want to hear. Teaching through Paul’s writings is no easy task- you know Paul said some intense, controversial things many times! Today’s message title was “When God Gives Up” based on the last half of Romans 1. I had no idea where this message was going and got scared for a second in thinking that I somehow missed the memo that God could “leave me". That wasn’t the direction the message took and the title was just a great play on words. Could you imagine having to deliver that type of preaching? Oh my…

To sum up the last half of this chapter in Romans, it would read like this: the people, knowing clearly about God (vs. 19) suppressed the truth and did what they felt like doing with whatever and whoever, without a care in the world (vs. 21-23; 25; 27-32.) There was no stopping them and no desire to turn from their evil and twisted ways, so God “gave up” and “gave them over to their shameful lusts.” (vs. 24; 26) Pastor gave an excellent illustration to further teach this thought. (I’ve adapted it a little bit.) Think about being on the Niagara River in a boat with the sight of the currents from the falls up ahead. You’re having fun splashing around but you want more of a thrill and want to move closer to the currents, even though you know it’s probably not in your best interest. God has a rope attached to your boat holding you and keeping you from being swept away by the raging waters up ahead. You tell Him, “God let me go, I don’t care or want you to keep me and I don’t want to follow what you have to say. Let go!” The Lord would reply, “But I know the dangers that are up ahead, I’m trying to keep you safe!” With rude and pursuing insistence you fight with God and inch away at your own will until, with a grieving heart, He let’s go of the rope for you to indulge in what He know will destroy you. He didn’t “give up on you," He let you give in to what you were blindly pursuing against His protections and truth over you... Does that sound familiar? It does for me! It's like a parent protecting their boy or girl from heartache and dangerous situations, to then have to just let him/her learn on their own because he or she won't listen.

There was more to the message, and so much heated discussion that Pastor had to tackle gracefully. But, a few thoughts stood out to me:

o   “When we hate truth, we try our best to suppress it and go as far as trying to justify our sins and actions to any extreme we can.” When was the last time I did this?

o   It makes me sick to think that the times I want to indulge in my own sinful desires at whatever cost, I am giving Satan the opportunity to activate his schemes against me. Whoa!

o   “Sin” goes far beyond sexual immorality and lust; it includes things like gossip too. (vs. 9-31) Which sins am I trying to play off as “innocent” or “not that bad”?

As a Christian and a YoungMarried wife, I never want God’s Word to stop piercing me like a double-edged sword.  I love Sunday messages when I have to think of my intentions, thoughts, and get my heart in the right place. Will you do the same with me today?

Hebrews 4:12, ” For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

What we worshipped to today :

“How Great is Your Faithfulness” - Matt Redman

“One Thing Remains” - Bethel

               “10,000 Reasons” - Matt Redman

     P.s. Pastor Steven Furtick's wife, Holly, has one of the best blogs for ministry wives to read! Being the wife Elevation Church's senior pastor can't be easy, but she speaks so wonderfully and openly about ministry, her life, and family. On Monday's she too posts her Sunday notes from the pastor's preaching. Her pastor is her husband- cute right? Check it out! The Preacher's Wife

“These are a few of my favorite things…”

My mom’s love for the Sound of Music was passed on to me at an early age. I could sit for hours on end and press rewind and then push play to sing along to all of the movie’s popular songs. I always got giddy when the scene of “My Favorite Things” came on the screen and I smiled as Julie Andrews sang about everything that seemed to bring her endless joy. *sigh* Don’t you just love those classic movies?

Well, today was one of those days that I got to enjoy a few of my favorite things, one of which sadly came to an end. I mentioned in a post I made initially on Tumblr that we as wives sometimes forget that we are our own individual person too. We sometimes get obsessed with being the “perfect wife” and think that we have to put all of our enjoyments on hold until further notice... Wrong! Actually, I can probably say that more easily because I have no kiddos to chase after. Sorry... But, it is true that I am a happier wife when I can enjoy some things that bring me joy.

Examples:

I enjoy a good book! In the last 3 weeks I’ve taken my sweet time to read through Gretchen Rubin’s, The Happiness Project. A few months ago, on some media outlet that I can’t think of right now, I heard about this book and was intrigued by the project that the author did. I made a mental note to pick up a copy but it wasn’t until I was in an airport in Boise, ID., browsing through titles that I remembered I wanted to read it. I was consumed for the next several hours on the plane ride home. I’ll leave details for another day because I’m just a few pages shy of finishing the book and motivated to start my own “happiness project” so I’ll give you the scoop later on. Nonetheless, it’s a good read.

Coconut is a God-sent scent. I love all things coconut- taste, smells, and texture. I love some coconut in my coffee, in my desserts, and even sprinkled in oatmeal. The smell of coconut in my soaps, hand sanitizers, and lotions is a summer joy, and you know that touching one of those brown coconuts is an interesting experience. I think I developed an affinity for the fruit when I was a little girl. My grandma took care of me and my sister when we were still too young to go to school and mom/dad had to work. She, at the time, made the best Hispanic desserts in town! I spent many a day grating coconuts for these treats and can remember so vividly picking at the gratings hoping that she hadn’t seen me. Any chance that I can get and find in a store, my inclination is to pick up a coconut infused product. My favorite summer scent this year was Bath and Body Works’ “Coconut Water” home spray. I almost shed a tear when I spritzed the last of this magical bottle this morning. So long, lover. L

Pinterest, enough said. I LOVE Pinterest! I think it’s because I feel like ideas that I have in my head that I wish I could do or see I end up finding the perfect posts to them on this site. I have all sorts of crazy boards and have to control myself from not “pinning” all day. Even with that, I pin quite often. Derek laughs when I show him all the cute baby and maternity pictures I post up … actually, that’s probably nervous laughter, hm.  I also text him the most adorable puppy pictures too. *hint, hint* Anyways, on my board “Handy Work” that’s dedicated to all things crafts, I pin countless projects that I think I’ll do, but realistically know that I won’t. Unless I have step-by-step instructions, items on hand or few to buy, then it’ll probably take me a really long time to get around to them. Well, I’m proud to announce that last week I accomplished one project and love it! Here was the goal:

And here’s how it came out:

Not too shabby for a non-crafter AND I was smiling all morning with my coffee in hand. J It was worth it.

Some other silly “simples” that bring me joy:

ü  The color yellow

ü  Cute cards and post-it notes to write on

ü  GoodMorning America…. I love Robin Roberts!

ü  Choosing fun nail polish colors for a pedicure

ü  Friends that tell great jokes

ü  Memorizing a new Bible verse

ü  Facetiming with my family

ü  This blog!

I’ve mentioned it before, but take the time to rediscover your interests or explore new ones. Derek is at peace knowing that I keep myself occupied when he has to work late or is away, and I’m happy that I can keep myself entertained. (Side note: there aren't many benefits to losing a job, but I suppose for me that this has been one...) Can you be guilty of going too far in enjoying your likes?  Unfortunately, yes. But like mom and my favorite fitness gurus say, “Everything in moderation.”

Let me know some of your favorite things to do and/or enjoy. You may just inspire me to try something new!

P.S. I'll soon be posting about my journey with the site She Reads Truth to work through the book of Proverbs in the Bible. I am learning a lot!

Purity in Marriage, Protecting our Home

     Have you seen GoDaddy commercials? Guess what... I HATE THEM! I think they are a gross example of sexually driven marketing. I can't believe that they even let commericals like those, which leave the human imagination to go wild, be allowed to air on "safe" networks. I hate them even more because I have a husband who is human and those commercials don't help his mind in the pursuit of purity. Let's be real ladies, don't those shots of women who appear to be naked make you question if they really are? Our husbands mind's wonder the same too. A note that I must add is that this does not mean that our men are "pigs" or "disgusting", their minds are wired differently than ours and we need to realize that things like this cause our husbands to stumble. I hate to hear women degrade men in such hurtful ways, we need to worry more about understanding how God uniquely created them and be active in protecting our marriages and homes.We have the job privilege to help our hubby's stay pure. They don't know it all, we just know a little more. :)
     I recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of high school girls about boys, modesty, but most importantly, purity. We covered everything from why we like guys, to what the Bible and God have to say about keeping our hearts, minds, and thoughts free from the bondage of impurity. Purity for girls, and married couples is something I am deeply passionate about. The truth is that I believe marriages today, especially YoungMarrieds, forget that purity is still important and not only a topic that's covered with teens at camp. Perhaps it's because it feels like a taboo subject or maybe we are just naive and live by the "that'll never happen to me" motto in marriage, but we have to WAKE UP and be intentional to protect our homes and marriages because like 1 Peter 5:8 says:

"Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour."

     The devil, it seems, especially likes to prey on marriages and will find any crack to slither in and steal the joy and promises of the vows made and devour them leaving behind rotten bones of lies, bitterness, infidelity, anger, immorality, and more. STAY ALERT!

     I've had two life realizations that guarding a marriage takes a host of tools, both from God and from a couple doing their part. The first was when I lived through the hurt and pain (and restoration by God's faithful forgiveness and grace!) as a teenager in a home where infidelity struck. I soon realized the thought "that doesn't happen to families like mine" was a lie. The next life lesson came while I was on a break at work shortly after we had gotten engaged and I was reading a chapter in Shaunti Feldhahn's book For Women Only. It was a chapter about the mind of men and I read information that I had never learned about this male "species" in my life!  I pitifully cried and thought to myself, "How am I ever going to understand Derek and know how to help him stay pure in our marriage and how will I make sure I don't cross boundaries that are danger zones?" Well, a lot of premarital counseling, vows and promises later, I realized that if we wanted to keep our marriage pure and guard our home then we had to both promise we would do whatever it took to have that, to cultivate an atmosphere of grace and forgiveness in our lives and home, and to seek God's guidance in achieving it.
     It's easy to believe that your marriage will be the one that is perfect above the rest, but be careful to let yourself think those deadly thoughts. Beliefs like that make us blind to potentially destructive behaviors or problems going on in our marriages. I don't care if you've been married 3 months or 40 years, we need to take this seriously. I heard a quote one time that said something to the effect of a marriage that thrives and survives is one of today's most powerful ways to show Jesus to others. People want to see marriages that work both behind the scenes and in public. My heart stirs when I think of these words because I myself can think of only a handful of couples (that I know of) who are devoted to making their marriages be lasting and fruitful, not out of guilt or to prove something to their friends, but because they feel it is an important life calling. For me as a young married, that can be an intimidating precedent to live up to, but at the same time a goal I want to also work towards.

     I know that in all of our marriages this mission of purity and protection looks very different. Some wives/husbands are still hurting over comments they heard their lover say about the opposite sex, about the truth exposed of an affair, threats of divorce looming overheard, or even about the pain of a past life that has come to "haunt" again and forgiveness hasn't had it's chance to work. There are marriages in which one person is battling an impure addiction, or trying to overcome the holds of lust. I don't deny that these situations and others not mentioned can be some of life's greatest heartaches, and sadly many couples don't try to fight for their love and win. I do know, however, that there is hope in Christ, and a journey worth taking to restoration. I've had to see counselors in my young life and I am a big proponent for husbands and wives to seek it also both together and individually. No, counseling is not only for the depressed and mentally ill. It's sad that we sometimes let pride get in the way of seeking help. I can say that because I let arrogance rob me of time on my own personally journey of extending forgiveness and receiving it. DO WHAT IT TAKES, please.

     Derek and I, in this first year and some months of being married, have lived through some of the hurts of baggage we both brought into marriage and it's taken time and work to let the past stay dead because that's where it belongs and because God has made us new creatures through himself. By being open and honest with other couples on where we stand for the sanctity of marriage and in our own, we have been blessed to be able to help other YoungMarrieds who share the wedded journey with us.

   We know opinions vary but here are some of my/our boundaries that I try my best to exercise to guard our home and purity for myself, Derek, and our marriage:

1.  Did I mention I detest GoDaddy commercials? Just wanted to make sure you knew! I've asked Derek to change the channel during sexually charged commercials or TV/movie scenes when he's watching TV. Why leave room for the mind to wonder and too much of the sexual scenes shown on today's networks are dangerously close to X rated material.
 
2. I like to watch the Victoria's Secret annual fashion show, not going to lie. He's not allowed. :)
 
3. We choose to not talk about how "hot"or "sexy", another person/celebrity/athlete is. We're not stupid and know it's impossible that we'll never think someone else is beautiful or handsome, but why breed insecurity and comparisons with distasteful descriptions. I mean I know he thinks Carrie Underwood has to be gorgeous and come on girls, Ryan Lochte this year?
 
4. We know each other's passwords to private things. It's actually turned out to serve as accountability for us. "It's none of your business" is a no-no in this house.
 
5. I don't share personal or marriage struggles, my heart thoughts, or other intimate details with other men. I don't need the temptation to have another man be my confidant and it's truthfully not healthy. If I can't talk to Derek then I have three choices: God, my pastor, or a counselor. I can talk to my parents too, but I do my best to be careful with what I tell them. That's a topic for another post! 
 
6. We try hard to let each other know that if there is a secret one of us is hiding or a struggle that we need help with that we can tell each other and trust we will do our best to forgive (if that's what's needed) and work through the problem. Notice I said *try*, we know it's hard!
 
7. I can't stand TV shows or movies where infidenlity is taken lightly. It's not funny in any way, whether you've lived through it or not. So, in our house, my rule is that it's not allowed to be watched. He respects that. And, if you joke about it around me just know I'll have something to say.
 
8. Side comment: If you're married and struggling with intimacy, please talk about it with each other and don't be embarrassed if you need to get professional/medical help when there's issues to work through. Don't let this super important part in your marriage fall apart. That's all I'll say for little eyes that may be reading. :)
 
9. If a hurt of the past comes up, I try my hardest to let the thought or memory die instantly. There's no purpose a hurt of the past that I already forgave can serve me now in the present, other than a positive lesson learned as an outcome. Time has had to do it's healing job in us for some things though- that's ok.
 
10. FORGIVENESS is a core value for me, Derek, and our home. 

     To you, some of the above may seem ridiculous, and that's fine. Every story of marriage is different and each person is equally distinct. Above all, line up your guidelines and boundaries with what the Bible says first. The rest is a matter of personal decisions.

What are some boundaries you've already set for yourself and your home? Do you think boundaries for purity in your marriage are important? Is there another marriage that you and your spouse look up to as a source of encouragement?

One day at a time in this YoungMarried life.