Monday, December 30, 2013

2013 Life Lesson Highlights

I'm still trying to figure out how 2013 is two days shy of being over. Seriously, where did the time go?

It was a busy, busy year for me with school, working some, taking care of our home and Derek, writing, running, and a little bit of not-so-fun tasks too. I did slow down enough to learn more about myself this year in the different aspects that make up, well, ME. :) Here are a few highlights of what I learned this year..

Spiritually:

I'm not bitter about this, but God told me "no" and "not now" a lot more than I thought He would this year. I've had my share of "YES" years where everything seemed to be working out in my favor and just how I wanted, but 2013 was not one of them. And, I am glad. It's not that I have a problem with being denied something; I handle that pretty well, actually. I think what surprised me most is that as I grew in my prayer life, I could distinctly discern what He was saying to me. Growing closer to Him through prayer to hear a loud "no" sounds weird, right? But, I'm glad it happened that way in 2013. 

I don't think this was a lesson in patience as much as it has been a lesson in contentment. I am learning how to be joyful with "no" as it is when God tells me "yes". I am just glad that I graduated from working on being patient! He and I have done our time together on that... :)

Physically:

I worked out harder this year than I had in  recent ones. I mean, I flipped out when I saw some muscle definition on my body that never existed before! Thanks, CG (Camp Gladiator). ;) I also pushed myself further than ever before by running my first half marathon. I learned that I am stronger than I thought I was (thankfully), and I have come to embrace discipline in my training and fitness. That was a big thing for this free-spirited lady! I'm excited to tackle some more fitness related goals in 2014. I might be signing up for something more than 13.1 miles soon--stay tuned!

Marriage:

Derek and I have had A LOT of growing experiences in our first two years of marriage. Of this, we are very aware. 2013 taught me that there are two other reset buttons in marriage, neither of which include leaving: 1) right now and 2) tomorrow morning. We have been working on getting over offenses and arguments more quickly, and I am getting better at changing my attitude "right now" before I get too deep. That doesn't always work, so I'm thankful for "tomorrow mornings" to revisit a situation more levelheaded! 

Professionally: 

I dedicated more time this year to being a student versus an employee, which was a hard transition to make because I enjoy working. But, it was one of the best decisions as I now get to look forward to beginning an internship in advertising as a copywriter! I am SO excited about it. 

Outside of this professional growth opportunity, I also finished writing a portion of a book that my family wrote together. It will be published in 2014. In short, the book reflects on a difficult time we went through in 2009 and how we each saw the situation and got through it. We are excited about the book as we see it as a ministry opportunity, especially for pastoral and ministry families. Because I am a private person, I was initially overwhelmed at the thought of having to transparently write about my feelings towards my dad, my former church, the media, and other things. I was afraid to open that old emotional vault too, which was exhausting during the writing period.  Yet, I was reminded that how I get through the hard times I go through in life can greatly influence someone else going through the same or a similar situation. I learned to not worry about my portion, and I kept full trust in the Holy Spirit as I wrote each line. I can't wait to see how it impacts lives!


May 2014 be an incredible year for you. In each new day, with the good and bad, my hope is that you'll look back at the end of the new year and meditate on all of your lessons learned. Seize the growth opportunities and find joy in the process!

Happy New Year, friends! Xo





Friday, December 6, 2013

Stocking Stuffing Made E... Easier?

 
 
The tradition of having a Christmas stocking was not something that was practiced in my home growing up. Not sure if it was a cultural thing or not (Note to self: ask mom about that), but I did not think twice about it until I spent my first holiday with Derek and he brought it up. I think it went a little something like this:
 
Derek: Let's go buy our first pair of stockings!
Giselle: (blank stare)
 
 
Naturally, I panicked! I must have asked him a dozen times, “How does this work again?” I just didn’t get it. Why do we have gifts to give out from under the tree AND from a bedazzled sock? I still am not quite sure. But, I think the tradition is …sweet… nonetheless. And I get a few extra goodies; who can complain about that!
 
As much as I enjoy picking out something nice for someone and seeing the reactions that ensue, it consumes me when it comes to gift buying for D.  I think too much about it! This will be our third “married Christmas” together and when stocking stuffing time came around again, I felt the pressure creep on. HOWEVER, I decided to make a plan in advance so that I would have time to brainstorm and get to pickin’ the goodies early.
 
My plan? I thought it would be fun for Derek and me to work off of the same ideas and see what we came up with for each other. So, I drafted up a few guidelines to help our stocking stress stay at bay. The only instruction is to fill the stockings with little things that could tie back to the following five ideas (Set a $$$ limit too. Stick to the budget, people!):
 
1.       Because I know you like
 
2.       I want to see you in (or with)
 
3.       A treat you enjoy
 
4.       Something that reminds me of you
 
5.       A trinket of love
 
Yeah, you can keep it as small, silly, thoughtful, G-rated, or you-know-what rated, as you’d like between the two of you. Careful if the kiddos and fur pups are watching!
 
Santa's got nothing on you.
 
Feel free to borrow these, or have fun coming up with your own ideas. Be sure to share; I could use some insight for next year. J

Monday, November 18, 2013

Last Week’s “Favorite Things” Recap

I LOVE change! There is no quicker way for me to get bored than to do the same things, eat the same foods, or go to the same places consistently. Thank goodness that Derek is the “creature of habit” in our relationship because I can just be all over the place sometimes. :) I love to try new activities, go new places, and buy new products often. Don’t worry; I keep the budget in mind ALWAYS.

Some things I find through word-of-mouth recommendations, others I pick up on a whim impulse buy, and sometimes I just go the good old fashioned way by showing up and trying the food/activity/product for myself. DISCLAIMER: I was not paid or asked to review, comment, or suggest any of the items mentioned in this post. But, I wouldn’t mind a little perk in the future… *hint, hint* ;)

Like I said, I do not have the tendency to be a creature of habit, so my “favorites” that I will be sharing with you will change from week-to-week. For this week though, here are three recommendations for you to try based on my explorations from last week:


New eats:


If you love 1) Italian food, and 2) the idea of customizing your entire meal and not paying a fortune for it, then you will definitely want to check out Italio! I had been driving past this restaurant for the last several weeks and curiosity finally got the best of me. Derek and I went for our “date night” last Friday and we had an all-around great experience. The pasta was well-cooked, the ingredients were very fresh, and the environment was casual and inviting. You pretty much are given a HUGE bowl (great portion to cost ratio) and then start choosing all of the goodies you want thrown inside  of your dish- kind of like Chipotle, only better. Give it a try!

Italio
276 S. Orlando Ave.
Winter Park. FL. 32789 

New app:

(For iPhone/iPad*)

I love to practice yoga, but it can get a little pricey if you take classes at a studio regularly. It definitely is worth the investment though, especially if you are new to your practice, but I found an app that has let me enjoy the benefits of a well-structured class right in the comfort of my own living room. Sometimes I am a little hesitant to try workouts from an app because I question how much of a burn I will really get, but my new yoga app find proved me wrong! The Yoga Studio App is awesome! I got to download it from the Apple App Store for free thanks to one of those little perk cards that are in Starbucks- always check them out! The app has preloaded classes that you can use for your practice, or you can build your own by picking poses to create a sequence. There is a library too with all of the poses and explanations on how to get in them properly. The voice that narrates the classes is interestingly soothing, and the flow is simple enough to keep up with. The $2.99 that you will spend it pennies considering how many hours of yoga practice you can get out of the app. Let me know what you think!



Online shopping:


I am starting to value more the convenience of shopping online, especially when the malls and stores are getting cray at this time of year. I found the Modern Boutique site through a recommendation from someone at my church after I asked about the gorgeous statement necklace that she had on that Sunday. This site is extremely easy to navigate through and the limited amount of products featured (mainly statement piece necklaces) makes the shopping experience not be overwhelming. They have great deals often, and the piece I ordered as a gift came much sooner than I expected. You might be able to find a little something here for the fashion-forward person on your Christmas list!

 **Always be careful of the sites you visit when shopping online, and make sure that when you purchase something it is from a secure site too.  I did not have any problems with Modern Boutique. **



Try something new this week! Tell me about your favorites and I might just try them out too. :)

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

So...Baby?

We are just a day away from our two-and-a-half year married mark. Woohoo! Before we tied the knot, the topic of "kids" came up a few times and we thought we would wait two years and then try to have a "little Janney." Well, then two years came too fast and we were not ready yet. No big deal, not to us at least.

After our first year mark though, it seemed like something shifted and the avalanche of baby probing questions started to come through:

"When are you going to have kids?"
 
"You know, you two will have cute babies. When is that going to happen?"
 
"Are you pregnant? Do you want to be?"

"So... baby news?"
 
"What is your baby plan?"

"It can take a long time. You should start soon. When? "
 
"Are you on birth control?"

 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
 


I didn't mind the questions too much at first as it was fun talking about being a mom someday. However, then it got a little too personal and I found myself getting overwhelmed with how often curiosity was striking others to ask. I love babies and I am looking forward to us being parents one day, but we are just not there yet. Then, I started thinking about why I was getting bothered and it was more about me and not so much about the person that was asking the questions. I had to pinpoint reasons why I was getting asked in the first place to realize that it wasn't because someone thought that I was weird for not having a tot in tow, or that I might be trying to hide something.

I narrowed down some of the top reasons why people ask newlyweds about a baby, in hopes that you will understand and not get annoyed like I did. Most people really do have the best of intentions at heart!

Top 3 Reasons Why Newlyweds Get Asked About BABY:


1. Curiosity

Let's face it. Who wouldn't want to know if/when their favorite duo is going to be having a mini-me? :)

2. To make conversation

I have found that being around moms naturally brings up baby talk. If you are the only one in the conversation without a little cutie, then be ready to get asked. And, that is ok. Most of the time it is just a mom being sweet to you knowing that your time will come eventually, and she might just want to give you a (valuable!) tip or two.

3. Because YOU asked

One of life's greatest fascinations to me is the miracle of the human body being able to have a baby. I just think it is one of the coolest things to learn about and to ask questions about. Naturally, I like to ask people who have "been there, done that" so that I can hear different perspectives. When you ask, be ready to get asked in return. If you don't want to, then don't bring it up or politely decline to comment. :)


Like I said, most people that ask newlyweds questions about starting a family just love you and want to be in the "know" of when you will be sharing baby news. Try not to be quick to get offended or upset by the questions. I figured that out, thank God. You can politely deter the conversation in a different direction if you get uncomfortable by baby questions or kindly decline to talk about it. Some people prefer to tell a joke or ask a personal question back, but I don't think I am skilled like that yet. :)

Have you been asked the "b" questions a lot since you got married? How did you cope? Or, are you a MatureMarried with different insight for one of the reasons above? I would love to know!





Monday, November 11, 2013

13 Things I Learned After My First Half Marathon



I did it. I get to now say, “I am half crazy,” but only for a short time. Every runner knows that as soon as one goal is accomplished there is another one to follow. I am already plotting out what I want to run next! While I don’t see a full marathon in the horizon for at least another year (or two), I do want to share some of what worked for me in my FIRST half marathon. I don’t know if my approach to the race over the course of the last year could work for everyone, but it just might. It is important to find your “strong” in what makes you comfortable first before tackling a race like a half marathon. I have done a couple of 5ks and shaved time off of each one, but I found myself wanting more. I am not talking about a 10k more; I wanted to go big, BIG. So, at the beginning of the year I took a risk and found a small, local half marathon and decided that I would train and make it happen. And, that I did. Yes, I should have stuck to my training plan better but I now know what to correct for next time. There are many things I took notes on, but here are my top 13 lessons learned from my race yesterday!

 

1.       Rest and nutrition aren’t just for race day

I am so glad that I did my homework way in advance and learned this in the weeks leading up to the race. I quickly picked up that I would have to get my act together with my nutrition and rest to make it to the finish line alive. With juggling school this semester, it has been hard for me to get to bed at decent times, but I did the best I could to get sufficient zzz’s which is vital for muscle recovery. Nutrition has never been an issue for me but I had to find out a good balance with carbs and protein. I think every runner’s body is different and taking care of yourself by getting enough rest and eating well will go a long way when training and running a big race, whatever that race may before you.

 

2.       Recruit support and accountability

I was a little shy to tell people about my race for different reasons, so I didn’t talk about it too much. But, there were a few who remembered and they were there to cheer me on. It made a grand difference to have cheerleaders at three different mile stops and at the finish line. I will never forget that. Thank you!

 

3.       Don’t be consumed with a PR

Since this was my first half marathon, I didn’t know what to expect beyond what I had read and heard from friends. I knew that I wouldn’t be a top finisher and I was ok with that. I also knew that I didn’t want any injuries which meant I would have to keep a slower pace than what I could do on shorter runs. I was ok with that too. I just wanted to cross the finish line smiling! Oh, and I didn’t want to be the last person… serious fear. I did say that I would have been happy to finish in 2:30-2:45 and I was thrilled to have come in just some seconds after 2:28! “Trust your training and go,” was one of my mantras and it helped me beat my expected time. Enjoy your “firsts,” there are plenty of races in the future to work on PRs and other goals.

 

4.       Prepare your mental game in advance

It is true that running is more in your head than in your body. I just heard about recent research that shows that it is your mind that can tell your body that you’re exhausted before you actually are to that point. Yikes! The brain has a lot of power. In the last few weeks, I read Bible verses, held onto words, and remembered phrases that I put into my “mantra bank” to pull from on race day. The first six miles were easy, but around mile seven I started to get a little tired and these mantras were golden to have on demand. Among several others I told myself, “one more mile,” “run with endurance,” “Too far to quit now,” and “How bad do you want this?” You can psyche yourself up pretty good when you already know what to tell yourself when in doubt!

 

5.       Be kind to others on the route  

There were a few runners that were already on their way back to the finish line when I wasn’t even at the halfway point. They kindly looked me in the eyes, and several others, in crossing and said, “Great job! Keep going!” Aside from excellent sportsmanship, their words were encouraging for the next few miles. I returned the favor to others on my way back to the finish line and it felt so good to make someone else smile. J

 

6.       Energy runs out FAST

 Never have I experienced depleted energy so quickly like I did during the race. I am SO glad I packed two energy supplements for the way, a GU Gel and a pack of Sports Beans. I had a Sports Beans pack thirty minutes before the start too. Next time, I will definitely add a third supplement because I struggled towards the end a bit. I ate the Beans at mile five and had the GU at mile 7ish. I definitely needed one more boost around mile 10-11. You have to listen to your body and determine what you need! I know better for next time.

 

7.       Slow your roll

In the first six miles I wanted to go faster than I did. I felt good, had my breathing under control, and thought I could pick up the pace significantly. However, I knew better. I had to remind myself that I still had a good stretch to go and that I would burn out too quickly if I didn’t slow myself down a bit. Thank goodness I did take it back a notch! Having a watch to monitor my pace was key, but you can easily do the same with a phone and app if that’s how you train. I think I would have burned out too quickly had I relied on my “intuition” to keep my pace.

 

8.       Give thanks along the way

There are plenty of people that wake up early to help makes races happen. From the water stop volunteers to the cops that make sure we don’t get run over at intersections, many people are involved to help you get across the finish line. A simple, “thank you!” as you pass by goes a long way. They didn’t have to be there for you, but they chose to anyway.

 

9.       Be “all there”

 I didn’t run with music for a reason. I wanted to hear the footsteps of the other runners around me and soak in every little moment of what was going on in my first BIG race. I am so glad I did. I heard friends encouraging each other along the way and random runners singing whatever was on their playlists at the time.  It was hard towards the end to run to my own "beat" when I could have had an up-tempo song to energize me, but I kept myself in the “moment.” Whatever that looks like for you, don’t miss the opportunity to be all there.

 

10.   Don’t stop after the race

Post-race recovery is super important for the health of your muscles and to help you recover from a grueling run. I felt dizzy after crossing the finish line so I didn’t keep walking to help my muscles come down. I had to sit down for a few minutes, but next time I will definitely keep walking. I ate the goodies they had available (fruit, bread, peanut butter, etc.) and chugged a Gatorade on my way back home. I sucked it up and took two ice baths too, one immediately after I got home and the other a few hours later. I put frozen veggies on my sore spots (knees and left ankle), foam rolled a few times, and I feel GREAT today.  I did a thirty minute yoga sequence which also helped with the soreness and tension in my muscles. I am going to monitor the minor aches tomorrow (two days post-race) as I slowly get back into the swing of things to make sure that I don’t overlook any serious possible injuries. Listen to your body and take care of yourself immediately after the race!

 

11.   Cross training helps get you to the finish line

Little did I know that doing Camp Gladiator in the last several months would help prepare me to run with endurance. Getting up at 6am for workouts during the week has been difficult in the last couple of months with long, crazy semester nights but my cross training days with CG carried me through in the end. I finished strong, CG strong! I can’t wait to kick it up a notch and see how much better I can do next time around. Find a cross training schedule that works well for you!

 

       12. Stick to what is “tried and true”

I read over and over again that races aren’t meant for trying anything new. I was tempted to wear a new outfit, but I am sure glad I didn’t. I stuck to wearing something I had run in before, including shoes. The only new things I sported on race day was a pair of more cushioned socks, a new hat to keep the sun out of my eyes, and a watch that my hubs got me as an early birthday present. I had no wardrobe malfunctions or chaffing issues, or any other related horrors to tell about. Whew! I also ate something pre-race that I was used to: a banana and peanut butter toast, and drank about 20oz of water, and a little black coffee. Your stomach is sensitive and you don’t want to aggravate it to the point of affecting your run.

 
13. Have fun!

 You will run better races than others. No matter what, enjoy the miles and be proud that you had the courage to get out there and challenge yourself!

 

I’d love to hear from you! What are some of your stories and/or tips from races? What have you learned to do and what not to do?

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Battle of the Picky Eater

     Ever heard the phrase, “Choose your battles”? Well, this statement is very true when it comes to the YoungMarried life. I’m not talking about a nagging battle over when the trash needs to be taken out or getting into a fit about clothes left strewn on the floor … personal vent. J The particular battle I’m writing about applies if you live with a picky eater too.

     Packing Derek lunch is an Olympic challenge. Scoring a perfect 10 is easy rare. More times than not, his lunch bag will come home just the way I sent it, without him having touched a thing. To successfully know that he will eat what I pack him requires strategic planning! This morning I thought I would try again. Aside from last night’s leftovers I added a few snacks inside his bag, peanut butter crackers and a cheese stick, secretly hoping they would find their way into his belly.  I knew better…
“Babe, if you pretend the snacks are unhealthy I might eat them.”
     *Sigh*... he wasn’t feeling those today. Yes, I have fought the good fight with my picky eater and just learned to embrace his cinnamon roll loving, BBQ Pringle snacking, don’t-give-me-veggies-everyday fighting ways. I still love him!


     If you’re like me then before you were married one of your many daydreams was about cooking meals for your man-but, envisioning making the foods WE like. I just thought that Derek would savor every dish that I made, no matter what! That didn’t play out so well when I figured out quickly that Derek’s veggie corner only included (if he’s in the mood) broccoli, peas, baked potato, and green beans. Let’s not forget he only likes green apples, oranges, and grapes on occasion.I almost had a heart attack that he wouldn’t touch carrots, any type of squash or sweet potato, eggplant, kale, onions, etc. GASP! To be fair, I had some sneaky wins though. For example, I successfully tricked him out of eating beef in spaghetti and switched over to ground turkey. He didn’t figure this one out until he saw the package in the trash one day. Haha. A less successful try was thinking I couldn’t finely dice up onions for the sauce and not get caught. Fail.

     The advice and opinions I received early on to remedy this new challenge weren’t exactly helpful: force him to eat it, don’t give him options… I’ll spare you from the rest. The truth is that I want Derek to look forward to eating at home, knowing that I’ll take his likes into consideration and make us both happy at meal times. I do believe that a couple can talk it over and come to a mutual understanding on leading a healthy lifestyle but you, pretty wife, don’t need to dictate with an iron fist. Choose your battles. He’ll be more willing to adapt to new and healthier changes when you’re willing to work with him too.J Here are some tips for you when deciding to let go of the battle with your picky eater:

1)      Figure out what your spouse already likes- there’s no way of knowing where to start and build from if you have no clue that he hates something from the get go.

Derek still doesn’t like bananas…

2)      Introduce major new items simply- if your spouse feels forced to try something new then chances are he won’t even sniff it, let alone try anything new from you in the future.
 
Derek loves pita and hummus now! Yay!
 
3)      “His and hers”- sometimes you just have to be willing to customize a dish to your and his individual likings. An easy place to start this is with spaghetti. There are tons of recipes that can easily be tweaked to make two separate dishes. Have fun getting creative. You might even be surprised if he ends up liking your dish better! Oh, the art of compromise.


I like olive oil, Derek prefers dense sauces on his pasta.

4)      Allow yourself to enjoy HIS foods too- Listen, I am all about clean eating and wanting to maintain your weight. I get it! But, there are the occasional times where you just need to have fun. Derek sometimes gets embarrassed when I blot pizza grease with a napkin or skip dessert, but he doesn’t bother me about it because I can easily enjoy a meal splurge with him on date night.

Krispy Kreme is one of his favorite places!

5)      Mind your body first- Be careful how you present healthier changes to your honey. If your reasons come across as poison in criticizing his physique, you might have a whole new issue at hand than just trying to give him fruit. 

I encourage Derek to eat healthier for his health, not to drop weight. Weight loss is a benefit and perk of a healthy lifestyle anyway! 

6)      Trickery is allowed- it’s ok to make simple changes to dishes that your spouse won’t even catch on to. Sometimes I substitute coconut oil for butter; he never knows. I have used Greek yogurt as a base for a pasta dish too instead of heavy cream and the plate came back clean. ;)

Smile if you get caught. J

 
     It takes patience to feed a picky eater, but take the mini-wins! Never be forceful, and see how much easier it is for your honey to adapt to a healthier lifestyle. It’s ok to let him enjoy his Golden Oreos and tall glass of milk as a snack, get over it. I did. J xoxo.

P.S. Get some ideas from The Sneaky Chef!

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

To Pray or Not to Pray?


         Derek and I have been reading through Mark Batterson’s book, Draw the Circle: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge, in the last month. It’s been one of those intentional slow reads to really process, retain, and apply the principles as we learn them. We’ve made all sorts of annotations throughout the pages, and today we had a few minutes to sit down and do it together. Well, I wanted to slam the book down after reading a few sentences that didn’t sit too well with MY stubborn personal philosophy this morning. In other words, I had an opinion, and the Bible said otherwise. Ouch!
      "Quit Praying” is interesting enough for a title, right? A few paragraphs in and I’m thinking, “Ok, I understand this… there are some prayers that we make expecting God to give an answer when we’re already equipped to act on the request. Simple, cool.” Then, page 156 happened:

 “There are some things we don’t need to pray about. We don’t need to pray about loving our neighbors. We don’t need to pray about giving generously or serving sacrificially. We don’t need to pray about blessing someone when it is in our power to do so. We don’t have to pray about turning the other cheek or going the extra mile. God has already spoken on these subjects. There comes a moment when praying becomes a form of spiritual procrastination. It’s time to stop Praying and start acting.”


     Now, Batterson is careful to remind us to not misinterpret the information. Yes, we should pray about everything; however, there comes a time to draw the line where we have to stop using prayer to buy time on issues where the Lord has already spoken on what to do. Truthfully, there aren’t as many excuses as I might like to think there are for certain things!
      I laughed after reading the section mentioned above because, for example, I have been praying for a little while now for the willingness to be more understanding, patient, kind, (you get the point) to a someone who pushes all of my wrong buttons. Yes, I care for this person but I’ve been thinking that praying over the issue would give me some magical insight on what to do- like maybe an excuse to ignore? Let’s be honest, I’m just telling the truth. Instantly, after reading Batterson’s words, I knew that I had been using that prayer as a means of disobedience because God has already spoken on what I need to do:

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you…” Matt. 7:12

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Eph. 4:31-32

^ these are only two of the many verses that give me God’s instruction plain and clear!^

                So, what does this mean for me (and you!) as a wife? Well, it means a whole lot! Yes, there are times where I ask, umm, beg God to give me the patience to not lose my temper with Derek over something that he might have said or done to offend me. Why am I asking God for that when He has already spoken?

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19           

                What about the times that we feel like we have the right to hold a grudge against and not forgive our spouse?

                Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Col. 3:13

                I know, I know- you’re thinking that I’ve rained on your parade. “NOOOOO, G! My excuses, you 've ruined them!” It’s ok, you’ll forgive me. I might have been a little upset at Mr. Batterson for messing up my personal theology too, but I am so thankful for the divine reminder on page 156 because it’s exactly what I needed to read this morning to renew my mind. While, YES, we should pray about everything (Phil. 4:6) let’s filter our requests this week through the answers God has already given us in his Word. Then, see how a particular request might be able to change into an immediate action! I’m up for the challenge! :)

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                   

 

 

 

 

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

"Anything you can do, I can do better" Syndrome



One of the biggest monsters to tackle in our personal lives as women, in my opinion, is the game of comparisons. She is tall, but I look better in heels. She can sing, but I have better taste in music. My house is small, that means I am more humble than the rest, and on and on with the comparison justifications. Why is it that men want to conquer things like financial success and to be respected by their wives, but we tend to be a bit more complicated in our aspirations? Sometimes the things that we position ourselves to compare to another woman’s are so meaningless too! I mean, does it really matter whether you can afford high end cosmetics over CoverGirl? So what, I like to be an easy, breezy, beautiful, Covergirl! Too often we let insecurities and negative comments feed our emotions to spiral out of control leading us into a mess of wanting to be seen as the BEST at more things than we were designed to do. Insecurity is an issue of the mind and heart, and a matter of not trusting God’s design in the woman (and wife!) he intends for you to be.  If the mom across the street is a master at cake decorating, I don’t have to become consumed with wanting to learn how to do it and be better at it. I don’t even like cake… When the young wife waves as she passes you on an evening run while pushing twins in her jogger stroller, you don’t have to swear to run faster than her next time. Do you even like to run?

Don’t get embarrassed, I’ve been there too. “If she does that, then I can too and I will do it BETTER!” This isn’t a thought about healthy competition because I am all game for that. Instead, I want to acknowledge that, yes, it can be hard to find our identity at times. It seems to be doubly challenging trying to find it as a wife. But, I want to challenge you to be active in putting away this game. No one really wants to play, and most of the time we are the only ones moving pieces on the board in this game to begin with! We can get so consumed with what others will think of our marriage on the outside and what people will say about our wifely qualifications that we waste precious time in living our lives not using the talents we already have to make a difference and move in God’s unique calling for us. The comparison game’s messy prize is never won because it’s never enough. Think about it: do you really feel like you’ve won an accolade for being “better” in your own comparisons? Get out your scissors and let’s cut a few things out right now, what do you say?

 
- I will snip away the comparison that I have to be great at several things to find value.
By doing this I am taking back a burden(s) that I have placed on my family, husband, ministry, etc., to keep up with my desire to ______________, and to be OK with me not being my true self. It was a burden I wasn’t intended to have or to put on anyone else.

-I will cut away the veil that keeps me from acknowledging and using the gifts God has already given me.
 I will use these gifts to well-serve those in my life and circle of influence, even if I played the comparison game with some of the very same people. God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” 1 Peter 4:10

-I will begin to clip away at the actions, thoughts, words, and desires that keep me from blossoming into the wife, mother, friend, daughter, ministry partner, teacher, employee, that I am created to be.
Confidence is beautiful… and your husband will find it sexy! ;)

What other comparisons and insecurities can we work on getting rid of, together?

We can do it, I believe in you. J